My Love Letter to Maine
The Tibetans define a spiritual warrior is “one who faces life on earth as a life of transformation and who always has a broken heart, for it is through the crack in the heart that the eternal mysteries enter.” Hazarat Kahn says “God breaks the heart again and again and again until it stays open.”
My leaving Maine to be with my mother is breaking my heart. Her death and the subtle ways she is leaving her body each day is breaking my heart, watching her become unrecognizable to herself, her mind forgetting her grandchildren’s names yet slipping her hand into mine throughout the day as if to say, we will hold each other up during this ending.
You have all slipped your hand into mine and said we will hold each other up during this ending, this leaving that I am doing by direct order of the universe. My moving away from Maine once again is not about packing or boxes or what things to keep or give away. It is about my coming to an understanding in the depth of my heart that I am truly loved and that I love each of you beyond friendship, beyond the journeys we have been on with one another, some for over 20 years, but it is about feeling loved and loving from a totally open and naked heart.
You have each brought the gift of yourselves to me and allowed me to enter your lives with the fullness of who I am in trust and total acceptance redefining what I thought I knew about friendship, about kindred souls. You have become the fabric of the tribe I have been looking for my entire life. And just as I have found my at homeness with myself and with you I am asked to find my way back to my original tribe and bring with me my broken heart for its ultimate healing.
I have always said yes to these turns of the wheel. For in saying yes I am allowing the Universe and its abundant wisdom to steer my life. Thank you all for your love and for tethering me to your hearts. My journey into these uncharted waters is possible because of you.
Maya
